Samu Haber

You saw it in everyone’s eyes at the airport on Thursday. Beautiful melancholy. On the other trips this summer with the whole crew, moments have been full of jokes. Now it was a quiet airport lounge. And in the car on the way to the last show on Friday, nobody spoke. 
 
I’ve seen a lot in this business. Next year will be my 20th anniversary doing what I do and before this summer I thought I had seen it all. As high as it can be and also as low as moments could ever go. I was wrong. 
 
I’ve tried understanding the shows this summer. I’ve seen loud crowds before and I have felt welcome on stage in the past too. But when my friends back home asked me how the shows and crowds have been, I’ve tried to find a word to describe them in all languages I speak. But there is none. This word I’m looking for should contain tons of love, loudness and craziness. But in a funny way it also has sides of feeling calm, safe and real too. It’s unbelievable. On every tour in the past, there has always been a point where the mood has dropped a bit. Probably because some of us on stage were sick. Or maybe because some people in the crowd had already seen that show many times and then they weren’t that surprised with moments anymore. That I can understand. I was expecting it to happen this summer too, but it never came. I don’t know how that’s possible.
 
I  have never laughed this much on tour. On and off stage. The show is just so crazy and you all play along with us in such a wonderful way. Even for us, there were so many surprises every night. Reading your hand made signs (thank you for all of them <3) or watching you dance Hollywood Heels. Or wondering how the crew boys do their Crazy cowbell show. The best cowbell show in the world. The one nobody else has. 
 
And I have never cried this much on tour either. At home between the shows and driving alone somewhere between the cities. And on stage and at backstages too. Sometimes like a child right after the show being hugged by my people. Tour manager Marcus standing six meters away from us blocking the view so people can’t see. Tears never felt this good and I know there are still many inside me waiting for the right moment. They all feel like a gift.
 
Thank you Janne, Tomas and Risto for sharing these 125 days, long drives and all the sleepless nights with me. Now looking at those hotel breakfasts and the question every morning “How did everyone sleep?” sounds already a bit funny. Same answer almost every morning. “I couldn’t, I’m too happy and excited.” I’m still in that bubble and I have no hurry getting out. You three are unbelievable musicians and human beings. There is no way you won’t be on stage with me in April. Band Papa, Hundlieber and Book keeper <3
 
Many off day evenings we sat somewhere with the crew and as we were getting ready for the (sleepless) night, I realized that after breakfast I’ll actually have a chance to take a nap if needed. Our pickup was usually at around 1 PM. But the crew didn’t have that luxury. They started every show day early in the morning preparing the stage and their day ended when I was already in some hotel bed shower fresh. Scrolling through videos of the show we just played while some of theme were driving the trucks to the next city in a dark night. You are all so good at what you do and you do it with such a big heart. I’m the luckiest man alive having you with me. Thank you. Many people, including me, can learn so much from you. The way you care about what you do and the way you go the extra mile every night is unbelievable. Can’t wait to see you all soon.
 
My heart is full of inspiration. And faith in this path I’ve chosen. That’s what a summer like this with you does. Thank you. There’s a lot going on in the world right now and all of it isn’t pretty. But what I’ve seen this summer proves me that there is so much good out there. I’ve seen it with my own eyes and I’ve felt it with my own heart. Maybe the good in the world isn’t always in the biggest spotlight, but it is out there and there so much of it. In all of you. 
 
One of the shows in June, I saw this young woman quite in the front screaming the lyrics at the second chorus of Hollywood Hills. Her expression somehow confused me. Her tears were coming out like they’ve been inside for a century gathering power and her cheeks were all wet. Her make up was all over her face and she had so much energy in her that I thought she would break in ten pieces. She stared directly at my eyes, deep, and it made me feel a little uncomfortable. For two seconds I thought she’s angry at me as the energy was so hard and pure.
 
Then I saw her again at another show. And the same thing happened. And I don’t know why I’m sharing this experience, but I felt something we people don’t feel too often. A connection not even understanding where it comes from. I mean I don’t even know who she is. I thought about her and that moment after that show. And seems like I still do. That moment must mean something to her. And there must be so much more about it than the song or the chorus and someone playing it. Those people around her, I wonder who they are what they mean to her. Memories and dreams. Hope and maybe fear. What we all do out there together must mean something. To me it does. So much more than I can ever explain with these clumsy words of mine. I’m so happy I don’t understand.
 
I’m out in the archipelago, alone at my Hideaway. Gonna stay here away from the city and the light pollution for a few days. It’s so quiet and beautiful here and the only souls around me are wild animals. Deer and rabbits & co. Almost stepped on a big frog on the way down to seafront, but it made a “Frog sound” and nobody got hurt. We know each other well already and they know they need to give me space in these moments. But it’s so good they’re here with me. Fire is burning in the sauna and soon I’ll be floating in the Baltic Sea alone. The water is still 18 degrees, quite warm for September. But the night is dark. A few hours ago I saw lots of birds flying south. We all know what that means. I’ve been dreaming about this evening but also hoping it would never come. Breathe in Hapa.
 
Thank you for this summer. There never needs to be another one like it. Love you all so much. See you in April <3
 
Samu